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Quotations




    "Britain is not an island...well, yes it is, but..."

				- Unidentified MP, on BBC Radio 4
				- from Mark Saxby (Reading, England)

    "The President continues to surprise people, so I am not surprised
    to be surprised."

				- US Secy of Defense Dick Cheney
				- from Mark Wiersbeck (Minneapolis, MN, USA)

    "President Bush is due to address the nation in approximately 20
    minutes precisely."

				- Peter Jennings, ABC News
				- from Roger Allen (Nashua, NH, USA)

    "Mobile launchers are more difficult to detect because they move
    around, unlike  fixed launchers."

				- Katie Coucik, NBC News
				- from Lowell McCulley (Nashua, NH, USA)

    "Continuous coverage of the war in the Persian Gulf will resume in
    a moment."

				- Tom Brokaw, NBC News
				- from Jeff E. Nelson (Nashua, NH, USA)

    "We have good reason to believe he was stabbed.  There was a sharp
    object sticking out of his chest".

				- Lt. R. Travis, Newburgh, NY, Police Dept,
				  cited in National Lampoon calendar
				- from Jim Reisert (Hudson, MA, USA)

    "The City of Rochester (Michigan) is considering a ban on smoking
    at the park because people are leaving their butts on the beach."

				- Announcer, WJR Radio, Detroit, MI
				- from Jim Cotton (Novi, MI, USA)

    "Men between the ages of 18 and 25 must register for the draft on
    their 18th birthday."

				- Sign in a US Post Office
				- from Bruce Stadler (Dallas, TX, USA)

    "This door must not be opened under any circumstances."

				- Sign outside a fire exit in a hotel
				- from C. N. Kumar (Karnaraka, India)

    "We have to expect it, otherwise we would be surprised."

				- Unidentified general officer, re: Gulf war.
				- from Thierry Ciot (Valbonne, France)

    "Yo-Yo Ma and Bobby McFerrin together again for the first time."

				- Ellen Kushner on "Caravan", WGBH radio,
				  Boston
				- from Roger Goun (Nashua, NH, USA)

    "It is mandatory that tenderers provide proof that the specified  
    performance requirements are likely to be achieved by the proposed
    system."

				- Request for Quotation from unidentified
				  prospective client
				- from Kass Antanaitis (Canberra, Australia)

    "President Union will address the nation on the state of the Bush."

				_ Hampton Pearson, news reporter, WBZ TV 
				- from Paul Poznick (Andover, MA, USA)

    "Although some functional managers had heard of RISC, virtually
    none had heard of RISC"

				- Digital Marketing Study
				- from Ken Berkun (Hong Kong)

    "Sir James Spicer...has officially opened a lavatory at the Piddle
    Valley First School near Dorchester."

				- VNS #2244 Main News, 23 Jan 90
				- from Dick Binder (Nashua, NH, USA)

    "Tensions in Latvia...are tense..."

				- WBZ Radio, Boston, 21 Jan 91, news
				- from Gunar Zagars (Andover, MA, USA)

Other humor in the GNU Humor Collection.

Disclaimer

The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the GNU Project.
The Free Software Foundation claims no copyrights on this joke.


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Updated: 6 Nov 1999 neel